radiumx: Due to abuse by people who I once consid

Bionic Commando (

radiumx) wrote,
@ 2003-05-25 00:27:00

Current mood:	pissed off
Current music:	Slayer - Death's Head

Due to abuse by people who I once considered my friends, this journal is now friends only.

I apologize for the inconvenience this may cause others. I've managed to keep this journal completely public for close on two years now, but I see this is only because none of my real-life acquaintances knew about it.

I'll try to keep a lot of this public, but all future posts of import will be FO.

Feel free to add me, I'll check my friends list as often as I remember and re-friend you. Send me an e-mail if you'd like and I'll try to get you that day.

-Justin

(Post a new comment)

	gothicblade 2003-05-25 02:54 am UTC (link)
	Sucks, I know how that is. I've been forced to create a few different layers of security due to LJ drama. Ugh. (Reply to this)

	defenestration 2003-05-25 10:08 am UTC (link)
	grrr I know how you feel. Bleh. (Reply to this)

	rain_conspiracy 2003-05-25 11:17 am UTC (link)
	living so free is a tragedy --PM5K (Reply to this)

shockwavesix
2003-05-25 11:30 am UTC (link)

Dude, you've known us long enough to know perfectly well that all of us (including you) dish out the trash talk mercilessly, but that none of us ever actually mean any of it. I don't seem to recall you raising objections in the past when it was Cynthia or John or me who was the target. But whatever. We're sorry for pissing you off, or at least I am. But it seems to me that you just need to chill out.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

radiumx
2003-05-26 01:54 am UTC (link)

And you've known me long enough to realize that I never raise my voice in anger. When was the last time I actually YELLED at someone? Remember who?

That was Everet, when I was absolutely 100% sick of his shit.

Now when I yelled at everyone the other day, that should maybe have been a red flag that I was a little tired of being ripped on that day... i mean it was two hours after I got there and you guys still wouldn't shut the fuck up.

It's not that i mind joking around, but if there are more than say, three people, I end up being the target 90% of the time, and it's gone on for far longer than I should have put up with. "You just need to chill out" is a bullshit fucking excuse that all of you have used to pacify me so it's alright to continue talking shit about me the next time we all hang out.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	cyanth 2003-05-25 12:40 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know the first thing about your personal drama, but I'm a loyal reader outside of it--don't forget to include me! (Reply to this) (Thread)

It's better this way
(Anonymous)
2003-05-25 07:17 pm UTC (link)

I suppose it will be easier for you to lie about us and make yourself out to be the good guy to get the sympathy of strangers, if none of your real friends have access. It allows you to push yourself further and further into this new world you've created for yourself and pretend you're "so goth", or whatever it is you're trying to do. Have fun slacking off more than ever at your job and getting fired, have fun becoming an alcoholic, and have fun talking to other pathetic LJ users (no offence to a few) that you don't even know while abandoning your true friends. You're not yourself anymore, you're a walking identity crisis. I know that you never listen to any of us, so this will only make you more mad, more pathetic, and more drunk, but I'm personally tired of it. I cared a lot about you, we all did, and you're exaggerating and making shit up about all of us and we're tired of your lies, at least I am.
You know why people read your journal Justin? Not because they care, because it's funny. You're the guy that people read about so that they can see that their own existence isn't so bad after all, or they just read to laugh. Either way, keep up the good work and thank you, THANK YOU!!!!....for being the biggest liar and the biggest jerk ever.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: It's better this way -

radiumx, 2003-05-26 01:12 am UTC

Things you need to get straight. -

tabbran, 2003-05-26 02:32 am UTC

(no subject) -

radiumx, 2003-05-26 04:21 am UTC

fine, have it your way - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 06:22 pm UTC

(no subject) -

ladybug007, 2003-05-27 03:25 am UTC

Re: It's better this way -

starkewpie, 2003-05-26 03:33 am UTC

Re: It's better this way -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 04:23 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way -

shockwavesix, 2003-05-26 05:47 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 08:55 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 09:18 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way -

radiumx, 2003-05-27 02:19 am UTC

Re: It's better this way -

shockwavesix, 2003-05-26 09:23 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 09:26 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 09:37 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 09:40 pm UTC

Re: It's better this way -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 10:08 pm UTC

Hey, this is Cynthia - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 06:33 pm UTC

Re: Hey, this is Cynthia - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 08:09 pm UTC

Re: Hey, this is Cynthia -

radiumx, 2003-05-27 02:39 am UTC

Re: Hey, this is Cynthia -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-27 05:56 pm UTC

Re: Hey, this is Cynthia -

radiumx, 2003-05-28 01:44 am UTC

evilgerbil
2003-05-26 02:57 am UTC (link)

Jesus, dude, this is what you're leaving behind? I can see at least one person has no idea what a goth-industrial scene is like. I don't know you that well at all but I can't say I've seen you try to whore yourself socially to become popular with the cool kids, which is something I absolutely despise. There's a big difference between goth and industral. I don't know why they stick the two together and hyphenate them. It's pretty much only the 15 year olds that are like that, writing bad goth poetry in their LiveJournals and talking about how life is suffering. The only people I've met that have weird vampire fetishes are online losers from AOL. I don't see you as angry, pathetic, self destructive, or alcoholic from what I've read and the few times I've talked to you.

I think your so called friends are angry because you've outgrown them. Maybe they get their jollies by making you feel bad. People that do that get angry when you say enough and stand up for yourself.

And for the record, there are a ton of gamer geeks and current and ex LARPers I know from the clubs. I don't think you'll be outcasted for that. Except the music. Man, Hammerfall fucking blows. Cheesy ass stuff. Don't let anyone know you like them ;)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

tabbran
2003-05-26 03:30 am UTC (link)

It's unfortunate that you don't have the full context to put everything in perspective here. Which is to be expected, you're some anonymous intenet person reading another anonymous internet person's online journal. The voyeurism and exhibitionist themes abound. However, I hyphenate because that is what I mean. I understand the whole "gothic" and "industrial" scene, and the difference between them both. While it's not for me, I understand it the same, and the hyphen was used for a reason.

But, I digress. There's three sides to every story, ours, his, and the truth. My point is that you are privy only to his livejournal, not the normal throughout the day happenstance that the collective "we" as his real life "friends" (I guess that should be quoted now, too!) are witness to. While it isn't my business to air his dirty laundry (he has the perfect conduit to do that himself), and explain in gruesome detail to you just exactly what I meant by my reply to him, I believed some stronger than usual words were in order for my post. I actually omitted a lot that I thought should be in there, but again, it isn't my place to expose these things.

It was really a last ditch effort to get him to realize that we are his friends. Regardless, the choice for his friends and his lifestyle, however unhealthy it is, are his to make and not mine, or anyone else's.

It's a shame, really.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

(no subject) -

radiumx, 2003-05-26 04:34 am UTC

Radiumx - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 10:39 am UTC

	so you're Amanda...? saturnalia22 2003-05-26 10:10 pm UTC (link)
	awesome... see? Justin does have some cool friends who won't kick him when he's down. (this is his roomie by the way) (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: so you're Amanda...? -

evilgerbil, 2003-05-27 10:35 am UTC

	ladybug007 2003-05-27 03:31 am UTC (link)
	LOL. Exactly what she said. Exactly. There are many of us "ex-gamers" in the club scene. Don't tell anyone. (Scott, who dances on the stage, with the ponytail like a fucking madman? Yeah, Warcraft/LARP-er, and close friend of mine.) We wouldn't judge you like this, not the good ones at least. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	starkewpie 2003-05-26 03:36 am UTC (link)
	There is nothing wrong with having someplace where you can write freely without having to worry about abuse. Good for you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

sorry to all

weemonkey6
2003-05-26 05:06 am UTC (link)

look, reading through these it seeems everyone has a valid point:

Jusin: I've run into situations whre I thought the group was singling me out. My usual solution is find a new group of friends. I have several groups that I go between; I can't always handle "the group" because it would bring me down, I know you have alternative friends. Go with that for a while. The thing with Friends is no matter how many you have, sometimes you won't have them. They'll leave or be busy or whatever...that's why it's best to know yourself well. You are all you'll really ver have. Oh, & just because cynthia's saying th same things everyone else is doesn't mean it's her doing. She may go a little overboard, but I pretty much hate her & I think some of the same things..

"friends": Gotta learn to lay off a bit. If all you hear is negative that's all you'll think you are to them. on some levels you're right. Justin has been drinking alot more, & changing...but we all kinda do that...just not at once. I have a feeling this is his way of gaining a feeling of indipendence & that's ok. ....ok, th drinking thing may get unhealthy. but it is his life...

"LJ Friends": I'm online alot & figured it'd be a whole lot easier having a journal online, & asshols post the fuck-tard opinions kinda ruined it for me too. I just wanted somewhere where I could talk about how my life was. I didn't read anyone elses for the same reason. It's their buisness what their doing.

I'm not sure what real friends are anymore....but I hope we each have atleast one out there.

This was prolly not the best way to say everyone's atleast a little right, but I did my best.

In rfrence to all: Bitch, be cool.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	oh, I see. (Anonymous) 2003-05-26 06:57 pm UTC (link)
	ya, we only have to put up with verbal abuse from you. You worthless bitch. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: oh, I see. - (Anonymous), 2003-05-26 06:58 pm UTC

Re: oh, I see. -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 10:04 pm UTC

	rain_conspiracy 2003-05-26 01:27 pm UTC (link)
	Dogs can't believe its not bacon. (Reply to this)

	shockwavesix 2003-05-26 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	What's with this pulling random people out of your friends list stuff? Keri doesn't have anything to do with this mess. Or is it just guilt by association, since she knows me? (Reply to this)

Wake Up
(Anonymous)
2003-05-26 09:13 pm UTC (link)

Justin, you are acting like an asshole and we are telling you as friends, not as enemys which you are making us out to be. If we didn't care there wouldn't be so many comments on your (most likely) last public post of your Live Journal account. Which is fine with me. We all have made mistakes and maybe the worst mistake you made was not listening to friends. You have no idea how many times I've been ripped on behind my back, but you know what? Fuck it, it means something isn't right and it you have to change from it! Some people are just like that and yah gotta look past them because you know the truth in your own heart. Comments and opinions are exactly what they are.... Comments and opinions! Facts are MUCH different. The fact that you think everyone doesn't care makes you look pretty stupid. If we never cared, no one would have said anything about your new outfits, hair style or whatever else you do. Some people do irrational things to disguise who they really are and it looks like you've pushed the limits of reality amongst your "Real Life Friends."

I may not speak for everyone but I know I speak for myself... which I rarely do. From what I've seen, heard & read. You haven't matured, You just went into hiding. Stopped going to school, bitched about how no one contacts you do stuff. I get the same shit, but you know what.. Oh well! Your new look, attitude towards everyone, life, everything. It's dumb. Who cares that you have a car, a job or your own place to live. I feel that having friends is much more important than material things of which can be had and lost very quickly. Friends will stay for a long time. The fact that you think of us as enemies "abuse by people who I once considered my friends" shows how shallow you really are.

Maybe you need some time off from everything to get your life in order. Stop with the boose. I've seen the pictures of you hammered, with your head in the bucket... all that shit.. its obvious you have to hide from something... why not go out and tell everyone what it is... maybe we will all finally understand with the drastic changes!!

Get past this hump in the road and we shall see if anyone you accused of being an asshole will talk to you again... especially the ones that maybe have been close to you. I know none of them talk to me.... so you have to jump the first hurdle.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Wake Up

radiumx
2003-05-27 01:27 am UTC (link)

You have no idea how many times I've been ripped on behind my back, but you know what? Fuck it, it means something isn't right and it you have to change from it!
I completely disagree. If we all changed because people made fun of us... you've heard the lecture on countless CBS specials, but diversity = good. I daresay if you live your life by changing according to what other people say about you, you're a sad person inside.

You haven't matured, You just went into hiding
I never claimed to have matured. But I'm certainly not hiding - i'm considerably less accessable and i had issues with that previously which have since been resolved.

Who cares that you have a car, a job or your own place to live.
The welfare department. And my parents. And I do, it's a wonderful feeling to be secure, and responsible for my own life. You gonna live with your parents your whole life? More power to you, I suppose... but your girlfriend/boyfriend might not be happy with that. Assuming you ever have one, because you live at home with your parents, don't have a car, or a job. I suppose you could always go on the dole. Uncle Sam has pretty deep pockets...

I feel that having friends is much more important than material things of which can be had and lost very quickly. Friends will stay for a long time. The fact that you think of us as enemies "abuse by people who I once considered my friends" shows how shallow you really are.
As proven by recent events and countless before them - friends are as mutable as anything else in this world. How many of your "friends" from high school do you still keep in touch with? All of them? A few? How many do you think you'll still have in five years? Ten? When you die? I've had my car longer than I've known some people - who are better friends than some I've known my whole life.

I'm still unclear on where "all that shit" is from and i have NO fucking clue why you think i'm "hiding" from something... quit with the armchair psychology. It's clear that you don't have a fucking clue what you're talking about and you're shooting in the dark.

I never said anyone was my enemy, just that you're certainly not the friends i thought you were. It's that kind of thinking that got us into the Cold War - "OMFG! They're not democrats, so they must be the BAD GUYS!"

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	Alright, enough already shockwavesix 2003-05-26 10:15 pm UTC (link)
	Anyone else notice how no one is even talking to Justin anymore? Just all getting into pissing matches with each other instead. (Reply to this)

(IMPORTANT) FOR THE RECORD (IMPORTANT)

saturnalia22
2003-05-26 10:21 pm UTC (link)

I'm not sure how this misconception got thrust into the open, but let me stamp it out right now:

JUSTIN IS NOT AN ALCOHOLIC

for christ's sake, people - how can you, who obviously know so little about his life, say that he's ruining it with drinking?

There is nothing wrong with having a party on occasion and drinking at this party. That's called being 21. He doesn't drink himself into oblivion five days a week, nor does he drink to escape. He drinks to have a good time - to relax. This is the point of alcohol.

Wow, so there are pictures of him with his head in a bucket. Many people have drank till they puked... its easy to do and, you know what? That doesn't mean he has a problem. Does he drink himself sick every weekend? NO. I've lived with him for three months and have I seen him even come CLOSE to drinking that much? NO.

Look, he's 21, he has his own place - he's gonna drink. So fucking what? He has his shit together - he's not missing work because he's hung over - he's not driving drunk, he's not forgetting to pay bills, he's not sitting in his room alone with a bottle of whiskey. He's a healthy drinker. A social drinker.

Where is the problem? Are you people that stuck up? What, are you republicans? Christians? What's the problem here?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: (IMPORTANT) FOR THE RECORD (IMPORTANT)

shockwavesix
2003-05-26 10:37 pm UTC (link)

I've heard that rumor, know where it came from (someone who doesn't think highly of Justin. I'm not going to drag anymore names into this, but it shouldn't be hard to figure out), and also think its bullshit.

The rumor came about because he'd talk to... this person... about not being able to fall asleep so he'd have a couple shots, or how he's "always" down at the pool hanging out and drinking. But I agree with you that there's nothing wrong with drinking sometimes, so long as it doesn't get to the point where you're going through bottle after bottle of hard shit every single day.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

Re: (IMPORTANT) FOR THE RECORD (IMPORTANT) -

saturnalia22, 2003-05-26 10:39 pm UTC

starkewpie
2003-05-27 04:16 am UTC (link)

Seeing anonymous people talk shit is funny as hell.

Seeing abusive fuckers trying to convince you they're your friend as they're trying to continue to stab you in the back is funnier.

I'm glad you have the strength to walk away from them, Justin. These fools aren't worth your time!

May they continue happily with their shallow, sheeplike existance. Bleat on and be joyous, livestock!

(Reply to this)

	rain_conspiracy 2003-05-27 09:39 pm UTC (link)
	I went to the Kansas City zoo today and pet a goat, its kinda like a sheep. baaa. btw. Monkeys are the shit. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	hell yeah! weemonkey6 2003-05-28 10:37 pm UTC (link)
	Monkeys are awsome. I think alot of it is because They're so damn cute, yet so evil. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	yankee135 2003-05-28 02:12 am UTC (link)
	umm maybe its just me, but it looks like you broke LJ. All the posts got condensed in to links. Poor lil' LJ, someone needs to feed it a cookie or something. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	You lousy crap-for-crap! radiumx 2003-05-28 02:30 am UTC (link)
	You are FIRED! buhleeted! (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

This Is Real -

yankee135, 2003-05-28 03:22 am UTC

Re: You lousy crap-for-crap! -

shockwavesix, 2003-05-28 08:55 am UTC

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